In 1991, I stopped using any medication that was not prescribed by a physician. I went to Narcotics Anonymous and to Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't attend meetings anymore.
In early 1993, I went to a Survivors of Incest 12-step meeting and this happened:
a flash ... illumination ... cusp of changes
i don't understand ... this marble's special
what is this God?
is this love at first sight?
shush little one and watch me sculpt
but God, what is this
lemme see, please God, please?
a universe of lights, each one a moment of love's learnings
a feeling, love so pure, so clean, so like God
a knowing, this will be
now shush little one and help me sculpt
how God, i wanna help, tell me how, please ?
patience, little one, patience, honesty, and love
so, mostly, i watched ... hammer fall, thump
that piece about your father's hateful lust
and the news he's finally dead, you're safe
so, mostly, i watched ... except hugs i needed too
hammer blow, another chunk of extraneous stone, money isn't honey
a childhood rocked by traumas not cradles, incest's infinite cost
so, mostly, i watched ... except valentine flowers i loved to give
hammer strikes once, get honest, twice strikes deeper
photographic horror show, more emotional chiseling
so, little one, what do you see ?
You aren't done yet ... silence. i'm sorry God
i see... courage, faith, hope, strength, beauty... love
so, little one, how do you feel ?
i'm afraid ... and i ... i ... i love her
it's ok, little one, you should ...
Now you've met Michele...